This is a hot topic on my blog, simply because I am a real advocate for self-love and understanding one’s self-worth, however, I’ve been struck by the recent uprise in the negative self-talk which is what has led to the crafting of this post.
Last week I was talking to some friends (shout out to you guys) and what I found to be the most poignant subject in our conversation was the concern of their own visual appearance and the fear of other people’s opinion on them. I found this terribly concerning considering my friends, and I am not exaggerating, are beautiful women; I was alarmed by the pitfall of their talk and so naturally, I had to look for solutions to the issue.
After numerous conversations (and plenty of eavesdropping) it became apparent to me that most of us are unhappy; whether that is with our image, work, performance or relationship, the feeling of not-good-enough is ever-present today. It is like a negative omen, a cloud sitting on each individual, weighing down any ability for progress, and compromising all achievement.
More literally, and without the poetic jargon, we are sad. We are a sad generation that will only become sad-er if we continue to dwell on our own imperfections; we are not data in a comparative pie chart, and so nobody actually cares if you’re wearing tracksuits or a skirt, makeup or not, hair up or down, all of these insecurities are simply generated by our own minds, and they are the factors which we need to eliminate in order to love ourselves.
So, you’ve reached a point where you now realize the absurdity of your negative mindset (I presume that’s the reason you’re reading this), yet you remain in the loop because you ‘don’t know where to start’; look no further than the following paragraphs, and you will find your solutions.
Boycott Social Media
This is the simplest, yet the most effective way, to feel happier with yourself; pay less attention to the social media scene and more to your present moment. Simply check your phone less, through doing this you will see less of the ‘perfect’ viral world and therefore compare yourself less.
‘Is my hair okay?’, ‘do I look big?’, ‘is my make up okay?’,’is he/she looking at me funny?’, just a few items from a pessimistic list, which seems to be most people’s automatic go-to; rather than embracing the positives we dwell on only the negatives, which only makes us feel a deeper misery. The solution is as simple as counting to three and that is to block those thoughts and replace them with a positive sentence!
It is not hot news that exercise has a positive impact on mental wellbeing, it is all down to the production of serotonin and so on, but that’s not the element we should be focusing on. What we should be concentrating on is the actual physical aspect. During this time we don’t over think, we don’t have time to dwell on the ‘bad stuff’, and, as a bonus, we get that feel-good hormone rush. If that doesn’t sell the gym, I don’t know what will.
Being forgiving is a skill, it is difficult enough to forgive others but forgiving yourself is a whole new challenge. In doing so, you can appreciate your self as a whole and love all aspects of your personality.
Eat For The Soul
Food. Food is our fuel, food can feed our souls, food has the power to bring people together; it is simply the essence of life. I am an advocate for healthy and wholesome eating, but as beneficial as a big salad bowl may be, there are some days where a slice of gooey cake has the upper hand. Eat to make yourself feel good, don’t use it as a punishment or overindulgence; choose wisely and with best intentions, that way you will always show yourself love.
Do Something Good
This can be as simple as buying the homeless guy you pass every day on your way to work a coffee, or, if you have the time, visiting your local animal shelter once a week or month and giving them a helping hand. Whatever your time and situation allow you to do is better than doing nothing; giving a part of you to the world feels incredibly rewarding and fulfilling, and gives you a bonus reason to love yourself.